


7 Places I Fell in Love With You

by princeofnothingcharming, Victory4



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas gift, Declarations Of Love, Fluff, Isak trying to express himself, Like so much, Love Letters, M/M, They love each other so much, its just really cute, trips down memory lane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-11 00:45:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13513212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princeofnothingcharming/pseuds/princeofnothingcharming, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Victory4/pseuds/Victory4
Summary: Isak has a unique gift for Even this Christmas. In the form of letters





	7 Places I Fell in Love With You

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo AJ and I wrote this based off some tweets where we were on a tangent back in December. Sorry its taken us some time to finally post!  
> We're happy with it and we hope you enjoy it as well!
> 
> and it should be noted that we made each other cry with the parts we individually wrote.
> 
> also...sorry in advance.

Isak is fucked.  
He knew he wasn’t good at gift giving and even then he still put it off.

Now Christmas was in 3 days.  
3 days.  
And he still hasn’t gotten Even something.

Okay, that’s not true. He bought Even new sketch paper and pencils. And also a mug with a fresh box of his favourite tea.  
But those were things Even needed, a go-to answer when Isak has asked that one general question.  
But nothing… special. Nothing to surprise him. Nothing sentimental. Nothing from Isak’s heart.

Isak groans and rolls over in bed. Even left for work over 3 hours ago and Isak has hardly moved; wanting to stay cocooned in the warm blankets while also reprimanding himself for his procrastination.  
He reaches out and pulls Even’s pillow to his chest, burrowing his face into it and breathing deeply; letting Even’s scent fill his senses, hoping it’ll settle his mind to a solution.

Even was the world’s best gift giver. He never asked anyone what they wanted, he just KNEW. Or rather, he was so intuitive and thoughtful that his gifts were just perfect. Holidays, Birthdays, etc… everyone knew that their gift from Even would be special, original. Sometimes it’s something the person wanted, sometimes it’s something the person didn’t know they wanted but wow do they want it “ohmygodthankyouEven”-

Isak flops onto his back.

He knows whatever Even gets him this year will be beautiful; specialised; something that will probably hold an inside joke with a dash of memory and a sprinkle of sentiment.  
Something that will make Isak smile with how stupidly in love he is with Even and most likely be overwhelmed with emotions.

Isak presses the palms of his hands into his eyes, rubbing them.

_I swear to God if he makes another movie for me…_

His phone pings and he blindly searches for it somewhere on their bed.  
Locating it, he focuses on the screen. A text from Jonas.

Jonas: A bottle of wine or a bottle of champagne?

Isak: ??? 

Jonas: For Eva. For Christmas.

Isak: Oh. Um… knowing Eva; probably both.

Jonas: Shit… you’re right.

Jonas: So hey what did you end up getting Even?

Isak: Uh… a mug and drawing pencils.

Jonas: ..… you still haven’t gotten him anything?

Isak: I’m working on it

Jonas: Christmas is in 3 days, Isak. As in on Monday. As in today is Friday.

Isak: I’m fully aware of how a calendar works thank you

Jonas: Dude. You know his gift to you will be amazing.

Jonas: And probably gross and cute

Jonas: I take it back, he’ll love the non-sentimental things you got him because you could give him a pack of gum and he’ll be over the moon about it.

Isak: How is any of this supposed to be helping me 

Isak: Jonas, you know I’m not good at this shit

Jonas: Hey, you try. You gave me my yellow beanie back when we were 13 and I still wear that! So see? Sentiment

Isak: I only got that because I knew you didn’t have one in yellow

Jonas: Way to kill the magic of it.  
Point is, I know you’ll come up with something. 

Jonas: What was it you got him for your anniversary again

Isak: A… uh… coupon book

Jonas: Ah yes, the sex coupon book

Jonas: Magnus had a field day

Isak: I’m still mad about that 

Jonas: Don’t leave your backpack unzipped with it sliding out onto the table then

Jonas: But see? You came up with that!

Isak: Ugh, Eskild did actually..

Jonas: ...serr?

Isak: He said he saw the idea online

Jonas: Okay then start there. Online. There’s plenty of ideas

Isak: I just hate that I’m even resorting to that

Jonas: Well it clearly worked in your favour before, due to you constantly limping and the finger bruises on Evens neck

Isak:..................... again, you guys are TOO invested 

Jonas: Bro, search ideas online. Find something and make it your own. Put that IsakandEven twist on it

Isak: I hate this season, it’s making you way too cheery. Go back to xmas shopping for your girlfriend

Jonas: Grinch, fine.

Jonas: But really Is, you’ll figure out something. And whatever it is, Even will love it.

Isak: Thanks bro <3

Jonas: <3

Isak scoots the pillow up against the wall and sits up to lean on it. Taking a deep breath he pulls up google on his phone and stares at the search bar.

_Where would he even start?_  
_What should he even type??_

After debating a few more seconds, he moves his thumbs over the screen, typing:

“Memorable gift ideas for your significant other”

 

Twenty minutes later Isak is filled with excitement and anticipation.

He’d gotten a notepad out and his scratchy handwriting has now filled the page.

He looks over his idea yet again, making sure everything is in order, checking that there’s nothing he missed.

Even will love this. 

Well, at least Isak has high hopes that he does. It’s got that film-like-quality-with-a-touch-of-extraness that will entice Even.

He hopes.

Isak forces down that familiar self-doubt; no. He has to do this, he wants to do this. Even deserves a gift like this. Even deserves the world.

He looks over his notes once more; yes. This will be perfect.

He grabs his phone from its spot next to him and pulls up a contact with a knowing grin.

But first he needs a little help.

\- - - - - - - - - - 

Even rolls over and instinctively reaches out for Isak - only to be met with nothing, his hand falling to their mattress. Even opens his eyes, blinking a few times to adjust before realising that Isak isn’t in bed. He frowns slightly; normally Isak wouldn’t be caught dead getting out of bed before Even unless he had school. He raises his head a bit, trying to hear if maybe he’s in the bathroom.

Silence.

“Isak?” Even says, voice still rough from sleep. He clears his throat, “Isak?” His voice much louder.

Still silence.

Even lays back down flat, letting out a deep sigh before closing his eyes.

It was Christmas. 

Even had woken Isak early this morning from excitement. And after dealing with his grumbles, (with kisses that quickly turned heated and who knew Christmas sex was so good?) they opened their gifts from each other.

Even had gotten Isak 2 snapbacks. One a dark emerald green with an “I” on it (he knew it would enhance those green eyes of his) and the other a black one with an “E” on it.

After Isak’s attack of smothering Even with kisses, Even pulled out his final gift for him.

It was a photo album. And inside he had filled it with dozens and dozens of pictures. Chronologically in order from when they met, to even 3 days ago.  
It had taken him forever to finish it (with a lot of help from Noora and Eskild and Eva).

Isak’s face was worth all the glue he had peeled off his fingers.

Even loved his new sketchbook and pencils (they had grips on them!) and the mug with the words “every scientist needs an artist to colour their reality” on it means a lot to him. Isak had tried to pass the mug off as a joke but Even saw right through it. He knew Isak was still insecure with things like this, and so he made sure he conveyed his happiness with his mouth pressed against his.

After that and after Even had cooked them breakfast; they had gotten dressed and went to Isak’s mums house for a bit before going to Even’s parents house for an early Christmas dinner.

When they got home they both decided to take a nap; well, more of Isak undressing and falling into bed before demanding that Even join him.  
And since Even won’t deny him anything, he lay down next to him and surprisingly fell asleep.

Even hates waking up and having Isak be gone; so today that feeling almost doubles because it’s Christmas.

He sighs again and opens his eyes while sitting up on his elbows to reach for his phone.

Coloured lights catch his eye and he stops his movements.

Their little tree is turned on, the lights twinkling in the dusk-filled room.

Even furrows his brows, he knows it was off when they fell asleep.

So Isak must have turned it on.

But why? 

He leans closer and sees an envelope nestled into the fake branches. That definitely wasn’t there before.

Kicking off their duvet he scrambles to his feet and quickly walks over to their tree.

It’s addressed to him. Simply “Even” in Isak’s messy handwriting.

Heart pounding, Even takes the envelope and carefully opens it; finding a letter inside, he takes a deep breath and begins to read.

_“Even,_

_You know I’m not good with words; And that I struggle to express my feelings and emotions sometimes._

_So I thought maybe I could “show” you instead. Take you on a little scavenger hunt.  
...without the scavenger part because obviously I’m going to be telling you where to go, so more of an ‘I’m telling you where to go so you better go there if you want your gift’ hunt.”_

Even lets out a laugh, shaking his head in fondness towards his boy.

_“This letter is short because you’re sleeping right now next to me and I keep getting distracted by looking at you._

_And also because I don’t want to start our story here in our flat._

_Please go to the place where we first spoke._

_Merry Christmas baby, I love you._

_-Isak”_

Even feels like he just ran a marathon, adrenaline and excitement filling him up.

He smiles as he folds the letter back up and places it on their tree.

Isak… He can’t believe Isak would set up something like this for him; knowing that Even would absolutely love this.

And he does. Already. 

Quickly he moves around the room, throwing clothes and shoes on. As soon as he zips up his winter jacket, he glances at the letter on the tree. After a moment he grabs it and slides it carefully into his pocket.

He wants Isak’s words close so that they brand themselves into his skin.

Barely containing his grin, he heads out their door, takes two steps at a time on their stairwell and bursts through the exit to the street.

Spinning on his heel he sets off to the nearest tram stop. Destination: Nissen.

\- - - - - - - - - - 

The sun was halfway down by the time Even approaches Nissen. He walks pass their bench and smiles… _‘first SPOKE’_... and makes his way to the door a few feet behind it. 

He had wondered, on his way here, how he would get into the school but the door is already propped open when he gets to it.

Cautiously, he opens and moves through it; hastening his steps towards the bathroom.  
The hallways are sparse with lights but he sees the beam coming under the bathroom door. His smile broadens as he pulls it open and rushes in.

Second surprise of the day is seeing Jonas, leaning against one of the sinks.

Jonas jumps. “Fuck dude! You scared me.” He places a hand on his chest. “Coming in here so fast. I didn’t even hear you walk up the hall.”

Even chuckles, feels himself blush a bit. “Sorry, I thought Isak would be here.”

Jonas grins. “Ah, that would make sense then.” His face softens and he holds out an envelope, identical to the previous. “Here you go, man. Merry Christmas.”

“Thank you.” Even takes it and his eyebrows raise in surprise as Jonas walks past him to the door. “Wait that’s it?” Even wonders.

Jonas turns and shrugs, the corner of his mouth turned. up “That’s it bro. I did my job. The rest is Isak.” He nods at Even before leaving.

Even lets out a breathy laugh at the thought of Isak making his best friend wait in a bathroom for who knows how long, just to give Even his letter.

He shakes his head and carefully opens it.

_“Even,_

_Did I trick you into going to our bench first???… Probably not because you’re the more sentimental one out of us._

_So. The bathroom. Our bathroom._

_Our beginning._

_I know now that you had wanted to follow me out the kosegruppa door as soon as you saw me leave._  
_I know now that during that first “love exercise” you kept raising your eyebrows to Sana, trying to tell her that you wanted to follow me out._  
_I know now that once she realised I wasn’t there, she rolled her eyes at you but nodded and held Vilde’s attention long enough for you to sneak out._  
_I know now that you searched the halls for me, before ultimately deciding the the boys bathroom would be a good place if I was trying to hide._  
_I know now that you had opened the door and walked in noisily._  
_I didn’t hear you because of the game I was playing on my phone._  
_I know now that once you realised I didn’t know you were in there, you started to get nervous._  
_I know now that you stood here, back against the sink as you looked at the stall I was in._  
_You probably pulled your bottom lip into your teeth, your fingers tapping against the white porcelain._  
_You heard me start to shuffle so you quickly turned around and turned the sink on._

_What YOU don’t know, is that as soon as I opened that stall door and saw you were there, my heart stopped._  
_What you don’t know, is that my breath caught in my throat and my mouth went dry._  
_What you don’t know, is that I couldn’t believe how even more handsome you were up close._  
_What you don’t know, is that I wanted to drink you in, I wanted to look and look and take my fill of you._  
_But I couldn’t.. I didn’t let myself. I wasn’t ready to acknowledge that deepest part of myself that I had locked away._  
_o I stuffed it back down; shut out the warm feeling I had from just our glances._

_I tried to just go with normal bathroom protocol but then you went at it with those damn paper towels!!_

_Honestly Even, you are the master of desperate measures. And I love you for it._

_So there I was, staring at you pulling towel after towel out, and then you stuck your FINGERS up in there to grab the very last one.  
(I may have imagined that particular move in/during later masturbation sessions)_

_I had no idea what to think… a part of me was nervous; I didn’t know what to do or say. Or what to make of anything._

_All I could do was watch you. Watch as you took a towel and wiped your gorgeous mouth with it. My eyes had followed your every move as I fought a blush before it spread over my face._

_Then your fake surprise (yes FAKE, Even.) that I was standing there… and then you opened your mouth._

_God.....Even. Your voice was so deep, my knees were weak. It took everything I had in me to not let out a sound. You offered me a dry paper towel and I instinctively crushed it into my hand. My nails were pressing into my palm, trying to ground myself._  
_Then you did your signature eyebrow raise._  
_I loved it then. I love it now._

_I’ll be honest though, if you didn’t have a joint I’m not sure I would’ve followed you. I wasn’t strong enough at that time. I wouldn’t have allowed myself to follow you._

_The weed was an excuse; an excuse that I told myself so that I COULD follow you._  
_I’m sorry it took me a minute or two. I know now that you had been nervous that you came across too strong, too desperate._  
_No._  
_I was fighting myself. Weighing the pros and cons. The brain vs the heart. The brain was winning but my heart played dirty and made my brain latch onto the weed idea._  
_Once they were in sync, I had looked at myself in the mirror._

_It was as if I knew this would change things for me. I didn’t know it then... but us having that moment in this bathroom was the beginning of me accepting myself._

_Because of you, baby._  
_You made me want to get to know you, talk to you, see you smile. Thoughts I had locked away started to trickle into my mind._  
_I went out of my comfort zone, out of what I deemed ‘safe’ for me… to go outside with you._

_It was the beginning of me finally becoming ME, Even.  
And I can never thank you enough. _

_Now, please go to the place where I started to fall in love with you._

_I love you._

_-Isak”_

Even didn’t know he was breathing so heavily until he looks up from the letter.

He watches his reflection in the mirror. His eyes are shiny. He blinks and feels a bit of wetness on his lashes.

Fuck. He’s only on letter two and he’s already practically crying.

Taking a deep breath, he steadies himself and gently folds up the letter, placing it in the envelope and folding it into his back pocket next to the first one.

He glances around the bathroom with a closed smile. He never knew how much their first meeting had meant to Isak.

Of course, he knew the basics; the general “I thought you were hot and you had weed so”

But this-  
This whole place now holds an entire new meaning for him.

His gaze lands on the towel dispenser.

Those damn paper towels.

He had panicked when Isak washed his hands and that was the first thing that came to his mind to get Isak to stay a bit longer there in the bathroom, so that Even could talk to him.

A laugh escapes him, surprising himself.

_Hey, in the end, it worked didn’t it?_

A beam fully on his face, Even pulls out his phone.

Even: I don’t know if there are rules to this memory lane hunt but I miss you and I love you.

Even: Holy fuck do I love you, Isak.

Mannen i mitt liv: I kinda want you to go to all the places first before talking to me.  
Trust me handsome, it’s hard for me to not to call you or text you to find out what you think of every place.  
But this is part of your GIFT.

Even: Fine fine. I’ll resist. See you soon? Maybe?

Mannen i mitt liv: You’ll have to see :)

Mannen i mitt liv: and I love you too. More than anything 

Even slides his phone back in his pocket and after taking one last look around the bathroom, he leaves through the door, down the hallway and outside.

He brushes their bench with his fingers as he moves past it; knowing exactly where he’s headed next.

\- - - - - - - - - - 

Even’s mum is still in her penguin Christmas jumper when she opens the door; their house still smelling like the dinner he and Isak had eaten with them only hours before.

“I thought you’d be here earlier, wanting to get to the main prize as soon as possible.” His mum teases, bringing him in for a hug.

Even pulls back to study her.  
“There’s a prize? When? At the end?” 

“My lips are sealed.” She rubs her hand over his cheek and grins. “Now go to your room.”

Even laughs and kisses her quickly before practically running towards his old bedroom.  
The door is ajar and he pushes it open slowly.

When he had moved in with Isak, Even’s parents had changed his room into an extra guest room.  
The walls were bare minus a painting that hung above a dresser. His loft bed was gone and had been replaced with a simple mattress in a wooden bed frame.

But none of this held Even’s attention. His eyes lock directly towards the windowsill. And he walks over to it.

And this, this he knows looks the exact same as it was on that day.

An envelope with his name on it lay on the spot where Isak sat over a year ago.  
Even settles into his own spot before reaching over to grab it.

Shakily, he opens and smooths it out. But before he starts to read, his eyes land across from him. He can still perfectly picture Isak sitting there; grey hoodie, red snapback, emerald green eyes and all. He can see Isak’s smile, hear his laugh; can remember the way his own skin felt like it was burning when he felt Isak’s eyes on him.  
The way Isak blushed.  
The way Isak let his guard down.

Even closes his eyes and leans back, taking a deep breath; the day they got high on his windowsill.  
He releases it the same time that he opens his eyes and begins to read.

 

_“Even,_

_I was going to leave a joint for you to smoke but I was terrified that your parents would find it, so you and I will just share one later._

_Mmm, baby, I can still visualise you perfectly.  
Sitting across from me, your grey hood over your hair as I longed to get lost in those sea-blue eyes, cutting through the smoky haze between us._

_Thank fuck we smoked, Even. Because having that high course through me, making me relax, dissolving my ‘who I should be’ filter… it gave me that boost; empowered me to look at you._

_And I let myself look, really look at you Even. Here on this windowsill; I allowed my true desires to surface. I allowed myself to feel, to watch, to wonder.  
To wish._

_To have thoughts that I had stored away, breach my mind; fill me up._

_I wanted you so bad, Even._

_You were so hot. God, your smile... fuck. Your LAUGH; they washed over me, wave after wave of warmth that I needed, craved.  
You were a happiness that I barely dared to believe in._

_And you listened to me. You actually listened and you cared to hear my answers. You asked questions, genuine questions about me like you were burning to know.  
And I know now that you were._

_Our glass room was soon shattered though.  
Those bricks that you had taken down piece by piece so carefully from my walls got replaced by one sentence._

_I was never angry with you, Even. About the way you introduced me to Sonja.  
I wasn’t mad that you had a girlfriend._

_I was angry at myself, that I let myself believe. That I should’ve known it was too good to be true._

_I was disgusted with myself and how I had acted with you that day.  
And that’s why I left soon after the introductions._

_I had thought that I played it all up in my mind. How could someone like you be into someone like me?_

_But baby… even with it ending like it did,  
I would’ve lived that day with you again and again and again._

_I had never been more free, more true, more ME; than in those hours with you.  
I had never smiled more, nor laughed more; than in those hours with you._

_For the first time in the longest time, I felt like I could breathe._

_Because of you._

 

_Now, my Romeo; please go to the most movie-romantic place to have a first kiss._

 

_I love you._

_-Isak”_

 

Even closes his eyes and presses the letter to his chest; wishing the words would jump off the page and sear into his heart forever.  
He lets out a deep breath, almost with a laugh.  
_How the hell did he get Isak? What has he done in his life to have such a beautiful person?_

His thoughts are interrupted by a soft knock and he looks up to see his mum peeking in.  
“Even? Your bike is here whenever you’re ready.” She winks at him with a knowing smile and exits the room.

A wide grin splits Even’s face.  
His bike. Of course.  
This time a laugh does burst through his lips as he slides off the windowsill and reverently puts the letter with the others in his pocket.  
When he reaches the door, he glances back one more time to look at the windowsill; a comfort rising in him with the thought that the only difference between that day and now, is Even’s love for Isak.

He turns around and walks out of the room.

Because Even’s love for Isak grows more and more every day.

\- - - - - - - - - - 

As Even approaches that familiar house, he sees the letter taped to the window of the pool. His grin spreads over his face as he quietly steps up to it and gently peels it off. Throwing a glance at the seemingly dark-inside-they-must-be-gone house, Even sits in the windowsill. He wants to be able to see the pool. Their pool, as he read this particular letter.

 

_“Even,_

_I couldn’t not mention the pool._

_It’s where we leapt off the cliff into the unknown, not knowing if we were going to sink or swim._

_It's where we shared our first kiss._

_It's where I first kissed a boy._

_Of course you couldn’t have just kissed me for the first time somewhere normal, huh?_  
_Did Noora interrupting us the week before cause you to decide we didn’t deserve normal? That we needed an epic first kiss for our epic romance?_  
_You seem so cool on the outside but really you’re just a corny idiot but I wouldn't want you any other way._

_It never even dawned on me that that was the reason why you wanted to go swimming. I probably should've realised but I was too caught up in feeling relieved that we’d ditched the girls, too happy to finally be hanging out one on one again._  
_Deep down I was hoping that something would happen, especially after the last time we were alone together outside of school and how tense things between you and Sonja seemed to be when we left._

_I know it was probably awful to take joy in that but I couldn't stop the butterflies from escaping their cage in my stomach at the possibility of an in for me.  
I was just so desperate to know you. To be close to you._

_When we were under the water, after you pretended to choke me, and you started moving closer I was confused. I didn’t know what was about to happen.  
Then you tilted your head and I knew. _

_This was it.  
The moment I’d been wishing for for weeks was here. _

_It was over too soon though and I couldn’t hold my breath any longer. I felt dizzy from the lack of oxygen but also at the realisation that you actually wanted me back. ME! The 17 year old so deep in the closet he didn't (and still doesn’t really) know how to share his feelings._

_The moment my head broke the surface I knew it had to happen again; I had to taste the chlorine on your lips, the beer lingering on your tongue, feel your chapped lips against mine._

_I knew I had to be the one to initiate it this time since you did the hardest part. You made the first move. You risked rejection but baby, I could never reject you.  
I had to show you that it wasn’t one-sided. That I wanted you back. _

_I was terrified._

_I’d never made a move on someone I actually had feelings for before. Knowing that you weren’t going to reject me made it slightly easier, but not much. There's only been three other times in my life that I've felt fear that all consuming: when the rumours of me being gay started circling, when you walked out naked wanting McDonald's, and running through Oslo that night after your text._

_Taking the plunge and kissing you back is still one of my biggest accomplishments._  
_In that moment I had never felt such freedom, even if it was just a few seconds, and I loved it. I finally felt like myself._  
_I was no longer kissing to keep up appearances. I was kissing someone because I wanted to! And even more amazingly, it was a BOY!_  
_I’d denied myself for so long._  
_I couldn’t believe what I’d been missing. I felt like I finally got it. I finally understood why everyone loved kissing so much. I understood how it could be an intimate moment. A moment between two people who actually care about the other... and not just something that one does to just hook up._

_When I saw that little girl out the corner of my eye, I panicked. One of my worst fears had come true. Someone had caught me kissing a boy. Someone knew about me._

_But you were right there, Even, pulling me out of my mind; helping me get through that window and holding my hand as we ran up to where we dropped the bike._  
_Making me laugh as we almost froze to death on our way back to my place even though my heart was about to beat out of my chest._  
_The little girl, and the fact that she saw us; never entered my mind again after that._

_I guess this letter is a thank you of sorts. Thank you for making the first move. Thank you for showing me it wasn’t all in my head. Thank you for setting me to free._

_Just… thank you Even._

 

_I figured since I was sharing how important this moment at the pool was for me, I’d get you to retrace our next steps after we kissed.  
Time to head to the kollektivet  
At least you’re dry this time, or at least I hope you are._

 

_I love you_

_-Isak”_

 

A grin takes over Even’s face as he finishes the letter and places it in his lap. His eyes focus in on the pool through the window as he begins to trace shapes onto the glass, remembering how it felt to kiss Isak for the first time. How scared he’d been about getting rejected by another boy and the rush of excitement that flooded him when Isak kissed back. When he kissed him first the second time around. 

He’s so glad he pushed himself, forced himself to make that first move because of how it made Isak feel. He’d never realised before how much that moment meant to him, how he finally felt like himself.

A noise in the distance startles him, bringing him back to the present. Realising he should probably move before someone catches him trespassing and calls the police he traces one last shape onto the glass before standing: a little love heart in the frost that’s starting to form in one of the corners.

He climbs on his bike, sorting out the pedals and stealing one last look back over his shoulder at the window, he pushes off the ground. 

As he heads down the road towards the kollektivet, he can almost feel the ghost of Isak sitting behind him with his arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

\- - - - - - - - - - 

Even can hear Christmas music coming from inside as he knocks.

Almost immediately the door flings open to reveal Eskild in a bright red and green robe with a Santa hat on his head.

“Oh my baby pan!” Eskild exclaims before grabbing Even and pulling him into a hug.

Even chuckles. “Hey Eskild. Merry Christmas.”

Eskild releases him and lets out a loud fake emotional sniff.  
“Merry Christmas to you. Now let me just tell you that I’m so proud of baby gay for coming up with the idea of this gift of yours. And that he included little old me to help” Eskild puts a hand on his chest and lets out a dramatic sigh before turning towards the kitchen. “I have taught him well.”

Even shuts the front door and follows Eskild. His eyes taking in the decorations that’ve been put up; remembers helping take them down a couple weeks after the holidays last year. Because Isak had bickered with Eskild over them being up far too long.

God, being back at the kollektivet really does feel a sense of coming home.

As Even steps into the kitchen he pauses by the table and watches Eskild pick up a familiar looking letter before coming over to stand in front of him.

“I didn’t read it. Make sure you tell Isak that. Even though I was tempted greatly.” Eskild pouts.

Even can’t contain his grin, imagining Isak grumbling at Eskild. “I will tell him.”

Eskild finally smiles at him. “Isak’s room is free if you want to read it in there. Noora is in France with William still.” He places the letter into Evens hands. “You know....” he starts. “I say this a lot but,” He takes a breath. “I’m so fucking happy Isak found you. And that you found him.” His smile turns soft, “You both deserve each other, and the happiness you two have.”

A warm tightness fills Even’s chest and he clears his throat.  
“I’m fucking glad we did too.”

Eskild places a hand on Even’s shoulder and gives it a quick squeeze. “Alright, enough of this.” He forces Even to spin around. “Shoo. Go read your letter.”

Even has walked this path countless times; these 26 steps from the kitchen to Isak’s room. Each filled with a different memory. Some hurtful, some wonderful.

He gets to the door and lets out a breath before going inside.

Of course he knew it would be different. The bed, the shelves, the dresser, the walls: all Noora.

But his eyes immediately glue to the one thing that still had traces of Isak.  
The yellow bedside table.  
Where at first, it had held books and papers and a bunch of miscellaneous items.  
But once Even became a permanent fixture into this room, that table held condoms and lube, a roll of toilet paper on top, a couple of their toys.  
He called it their “yellow drawer of love”  
A title which never failed to make Isak roll his eyes, yet entice a fond grin on his face.

Even approaches it now and sits on the bed next to it, resting his knee against the front; placating to feel closer to Isak as he reads. Knowing that he’ll want to draw strength from something he can feel.

 

_“Even,_

_I hope you’re reading this from inside my - our - old room.  
Also let me apologise in advance for whatever Eskild does or says. I don’t know if he’ll read this, so if you are I KNEW IT!_

_But anyway, Even... my Even._

_The kollektivet holds so much for us.  
A thousand memories. Good ones, painful ones._

_From our almost kiss in the kitchen, to us snuggling on my bed all day, to you showing up at my door almost breathless, to you not leaving my bed for a week and me by your side._

_Every one of these I hold close to my heart._

_The kollektivet became our haven_  
_A place where we came together and started anew each day. A place where we saw each other’s worsts and bests._  
_A place of firsts._

_The first time I let every one of my bricks fall down and ached for you to kiss me._

_The first time I allowed anyone inside my walls I had built; where I talked about the universe, talked a bit about my parents._

_Where I let myself feel the body of someone I truly desired, and then let myself be felt by someone who desired me back._

_The first time I ever got a guy off, even though we didn’t touch with our hands and mouths that time._

_The first time I allowed myself want... gave my first blowjob, discovered what it felt like to come in a guys mouth._

_The first time someone ever made breakfast for me, someone other than my parents._

_The first time I ever felt peace in my life, where I felt safe, warm, cared for... loved._

_A place where I cried at 1am watching Romeo and Juliet._

_A place where my mum accepted and told me she loved me for who I am._

_A place where I realised that somewhere along the way, I stopped being the Isak people assumed of me. And became the Isak I WANTED to be, who I was meant to be._

_All of this...  
Because I met you, Even._

_You stopped my world and turned it the other way, in the direction it was always meant to go._

_Our haven was the only place I wanted to bring you after running to you that night.  
I wanted to keep you safe; keep you feeling loved._

_This flat… this room..._  
_It’s seen us break, seen us cry and scream; took abuse as we threw things against its walls in anger._  
_It’s watched you take your meds, watched me not sleep for 3 days._  
_It’s seen us laugh, seen us play, seen us study together with our limbs tangled._

_It took bumps and nudges and slaps as we fell into one another, held our groans and cries of pleasure within its corners._

_This was our safety net. A place where the only thing that mattered inside of it was US.  
Isak and Even. A sliver of our own universe. The beginning chapter._

_I’m not me without you, Even. Time with you, in this room, has shown me that. You came into my life and fit so perfectly, as if the universe said “fucking finally”._

_We’ve been through a lot, in this room; just know that I would relive every heartbreak, every painful message or morning alone over and over again if it meant that I get to keep loving you._

_And while our journey was a challenge; baby, loving you has been the easiest thing I’ve ever done in my life._

_I love you with everything I have in me, and more._

_I am yours, Even. All of me, belongs to you._

_-Isak”_

 

A teardrop lands on his hand and Even sniffs as he rubs at the writings engraved on the paper.

His heart feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest. It’s thumping heavily, letting him know just how Isak’s words are affecting him.

Fuck. He loves him. He loves Isak so much. He didn’t know love could be like this.  
And fuck. He misses him.

Even stands up quickly and wipes his eyes, scoffing a bit at himself. He moves to fold Isak’s letter up before realising that there wasn’t a hint at the end for the next location. He scans the letter again, seeing no mention or reference of a place.

Curious, he flips it over and there in the middle of the blank side, with nothing else, is an address.

\- - - - - - - - - -

Even vaguely remembers this area. Thinks he’s been to a few parties around here. But nothing, in his recollection at least, that relates to him and Isak.

His confusion blooms even more when he turns the last bend and sees Mahdi standing on a grassy street corner. Mahdi waves as Even gets closer and hops off his bike, letting it rest against the curb.

“Merry Christmas man!” Mahdi grins.

“Hey. Yeah, Merry Christmas.” Even gives him a half smile. “Sorry that you had to stand out here in the cold. Were you waiting long?”

Mahdi shrugs. “Nah. Eskild text me when you left his place.” He hands the letter out to Even. 

Even takes it. “Thank you.” He glances at the letter before looking around the area. “You know, most of the places Isak has had me go too, I know the reason why. But this...” He waves a hand around. “I have no clue.” He returns his gaze to Mahdi. “Do you know why Isak brought me here?”

Again Mahdi shrugs, his smile dimming a bit. “I mean, I have an idea. But all I mostly know about that night is just from what I saw.” 

“From what night-“ Even starts.

“Bro,” Mahdi claps him on the shoulder. “You know, this idea of Isak’s is really cool. We were all excited to help; even if none of us knew the stories of why.” He nods towards Even. “Because that’s only for you to know.” He releases him and grins again before turning and heading to a parked car.

Even manages a small smile as he waves to Mahdi driving away.

When the tail lights are out of sight; he takes in his surroundings.

The stars have appeared and the night air is cold. Even can see his breath as he stands there in silence. 

He really is baffled as to why this spot has any significance to Isak. 

He’s nervous about this one. All the other places had an attachment and held meaning for him and Isak; they were places where he not only shared memories with his boyfriend but had ones of his own.

He is in the dark with this grassy street corner in the middle of a suburban neighbourhood.

As he opens the envelope, he notices his fingers trembling; and he swallows as he pulls out the letter slowly.

 

_“Even,_

_I know you’re probably racking your brain trying to figure out where you are, what this place is, what it means… to you… to me… to us._

_I’ll be honest, this place wasn’t on my list originally. I only added it after Jonas had said to me: (after he read my list of locations) “So these places basically just hold memories with all the different ways you fell in love with Even, huh?”_

_And for some reason, this particular memory popped into my head after hearing those words. And I knew I had to include it._

_It’s not... a happy memory, Even.  
But it’s important to me and the more I thought about it, the more I realised how crucial that night was to our story._

_We’ve talked about this night once. Only once._

_And I’m going to tell you the same thing I told you then: I know you wouldn’t have kissed her if you even thought I’d be there; I know you were feeling down and Sonja was a familiarity and a comfort you needed; I know that I left before I saw you push her away because you realised you kissed her back only out of habit; I know you never kissed her again after that night._

_I don’t blame you, Even. I never have and I never will, okay?_

_But this letter is about what happened after._

_When I saw you kiss her… I stopped. Everything. Breathing. Feeling. Hearing. Living._

_It wasn’t until someone bumped into me that reality crashed back and I had to get the fuck out of there._

_The boys were outside waiting for me._  
_I told them I was leaving and Mahdi said a comment that set me off._  
_And so I shoved him, pretty hard._  
_I saw red, I saw your mouth on Sonja._

_I wanted to release everything onto him, but Jonas’s voice and touch snapped me out of it.  
And the guilt hit me and I took off; I didn’t want the boys to see my tears that were already falling._

_I made it to this street corner before my body gave out.  
The pain brought me to my knees; I remember crying so hard I couldn’t catch a breath, I couldn’t hear a sound besides my own sobs._

_It wasn’t because you kissed her, that only set it off._  
_It wasn’t because I thought you had lied to me about everything._  
_Fuck, it wasn’t even because I thought I wasn’t good enough or that something was wrong with me._

_No, me breaking down, truly breaking down for the first time since leaving home, was because I knew I was in love. I knew that what I had felt between us was real.  
I knew the truth that I had tried to push down and hide my entire life was now settled into my mind, my skin, my heart._

_I broke down because I was in love with a boy. And for however briefly, I knew he had felt something for me too. And that feeling was the most overwhelming sensation I’ve ever felt._

_It consumed me. Every lie, every fake smile I gave to a girl, every kiss that made me want to throw up; poured out with my tears.  
And in its place was you. Your smile, your laugh, your touch, your kisses. It filled my entire being. Every moment I had with you made me feel the most raw, the most real I’ve ever felt in my life._

_I faced the truth, that I knew who I was... who I am... when I had met you._

_I know you knew of my sexuality struggles... but I’ve never told you this. I never told you that this breakdown was what kickstarted me becoming ME. Accepting myself. Finding peace with myself._

_I love you so much Even... that it caused me to collapse onto a random grassy street corner and cry until I physically couldn’t anymore._  
_It terrified me. That I loved you. It terrified me because I knew my life was about to be altered. The ‘g’ word sliding from its hidden locked place, onto my tongue… just waiting._  
_And I was so tired… so fucking TIRED of not living. Of being fake._

_I know this is shitty, and I’m sorry for telling you all of this... but Even…_

_Baby…_

_Going through this. It all narrows down to the fact that none of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t met you._

_Perhaps in one of our universes this particular night didn’t happen.  
Who knows how long I would still be in the closet? Who knows if I only ended up pushing you away because of how terrified I was? Maybe a universe where I never accept myself._

_I only want to relive OUR universe over and over._  
_This one, this one we’ve created._  
_I want all of our journey, the painful, the happy; and I want to relive them._

_Because meeting you was the instant I started to live.  
And I cannot thank you enough. I’ll never be able to truly convey just how grateful I am for you. I wouldn’t be here, be who I am, without you._

_God… Even. I love you so fucking much. Please always remember that.  
I. Love. You._

 

_Please go to our bench, baby. I promise you’ll see me soon._

 

_-Isak”_

__

Even presses his palms over his eyes as he lets out the sobs he was holding in while reading.

He stands there for a while, crying on the street corner; Isak’s letter getting slightly crumbled in his hand.

He never knew this. Had no fucking idea that that had happened to Isak.  
God! He can’t even handle the image of Isak fully breaking down. All because of him and-

Even jumps when he feels his pocket vibrate. Sighing, he lets it ring out without checking who it is until it stops. Wiping his eyes with his fingertips and sniffling, he shakily folds the letter back up into the envelope. 

He looks at it, wishing he never read it, wishing he knew more, wishing he could ask more questions. Fuck.

His phone vibrates again and this time Even reaches into his pocket and pulls it out.

Isak. 

Even pauses, his eyes going between his phone and the letter. Back and forth. Not sure which he can handle.  
The decision is made for him though, when Isak, who is still calling him, sends a text as well.

 

Mannen i mitt liv: I know you’re at the street corner letter. Please answer your phone baby

Even closes his eyes as he slides his thumb to answer and brings it to his ear.

“Even.”

At the sound of Isak’s voice Even feels his body relax but his eyes sting with water.

“Isak.” He chokes out. He clears his throat to continue but Isak beats him to it.

“Baby, it’s okay. Don’t get too lost in this alright?” Isak’s voice is firm yet soothing and Even feels the vice in his stomach lessen. “Look at where we are now and our life we have together. I love you. That’s all that matters.”

Even lets out a shaky breath, “I love you.”

“Are you going to be okay? You can come home now if you need to.”

“No. No I want to finish your gift properly. This letter was just...” Even sniffs. “A lot”.

Isak lets out a light chuckle. “Yeah that one got away from me. I’m sorry baby… but just think of it like you’re getting behind the scenes features of my perspective on our story”

A smile forms on Even’s face. “That was perfect.”

“Mm. I know. I’m the master of words.” 

Even lets out a wet laugh. “Mmhmm sure.” 

He could hear Isak’s smile. “You’re almost done. I’ll see you soon.” A breath. “Love you, Even.”

“I love you, Isak.”

Even hangs up, feeling immensely lighter.

After putting his phone back in his pocket he folds the envelope and slides it next to the others. Grabbing his bike, he revels in the sharp cold air hitting his face; helping him clear his mind.

A small smile never leaving his face.

\- - - - - - - - - -

Even climbs off his bike and starts wheeling it the final few hundred metres, his heart hammering in his chest in nervous anticipation. He can’t tell if it’s a good nervous or bad. He knows what letter is waiting for him, and as he approaches Nissen for the second time that evening this thought starts to overwhelm him. He slows down his steps, taking deep breaths as his heart picks up speed.

As soon as he gets there, he’s disappointed to not see the silhouette of someone standing there waiting for him. But then he spots the envelope lying propped against the metal pole at the back of the bench. 

_Our bench_ he smiles to himself. 

He loves that Isak is just as sentimental as he is; as much as Isak won’t admit it. And Even loves that he is the one who gets to see this side of Isak; not many people do, and the feeling of honour blooms in his chest. 

Picking up the letter, he climbs onto the bench and sits down, ignoring the cold immediately starting to spread up through his body and down through his legs from the wood he’s sitting on.

_May as well_ he jokes, as he sits almost identically to how he sat that night after the first kosegruppa meeting.

Looking down at the letter in his hands he can’t help but think back to the important moments in their relationship that took place here: Their first conversation, their first joint, testing the waters with that dick joke which he thought was a good idea at the time. 

_I really was desperate huh?_ Cringing internally as he thinks back on it. He knows that’s not what he’s about to read though. 

Something even more important happened here in this courtyard. 

He can feel his heart starting to race in his chest. Like it’s trying to break through his ribcage. His breathing picks up as he tries to open the envelope, fumbling slightly with both nerves and anticipation, finally succeeding and pulls out the letter.

 

_“Even,_

_This bench has significant meaning in our relationship yes, but the courtyard has more._

_The place I saved you right back._

_I just know you’re going to love that sentence when you read it, ha._

_I don’t think you’ll ever understand how terrified I was once I finally realised what your text meant that night. I know I’ve tried explaining to you once before but I honestly don’t think I’ll ever fully be able to tell you. I just can’t. Plus I know you hate it._

_I know you feel so guilty over how you felt that night and the fact that that was how you told me you loved me for the first time but honestly, it doesn’t matter to me. All that matters to me is that you were brave enough to tell me you loved me and that you're still here today, telling me you love me multiple times a day in both words and actions._

_This courtyard is important to me and our relationship because it’s where I saw you and decided “I’m all in. I don’t care what happens next, I’m all in. I’m yours.”_

_When I got here that night and you weren’t here my heart felt like it had been ripped out of my chest -”_

 

Even lets the hand holding the letter drop. The memories from that night flooding through his mind... How utterly alone he felt, how empty he felt, how he felt knowing he’d ruined Isak’s life, how utterly alone he was.

He shakes his head, running a hand through his slightly sweaty hair. 

_That’s all in the past._

_That’s not how you really feel._

_You know you haven’t ruined Isak’s life he repeats to himself a couple of times, trying to calm his breathing._

After a couple of minutes he returns to reading the letter, taking deep breaths. 

 

_“I thought I was too late._

_I thought I’d lost you for good._

_I’ve never felt such relief as I did when I heard the door open and turned to see you leaving the building. All I wanted was to to run up to you and hug you and never let go, but I knew. I could just tell. That wasn’t what you needed. I already knew from what you said in your text; from seeing you standing there; your stance; the look on your face; the amount of layers you were wearing._

_You thought I didn’t care._

_You thought I wouldn’t come looking for you - you might have hoped, but you didn’t believe._

_You honestly thought you were alone._

_That broke me._

_God Even, it hurt so much! But seeing you, seeing you standing there. The way you hugged me. The way you held on for dear life, trying to anchor yourself. Trying to keep yourself from disintegrating._

_I knew._

_I knew I didn’t want to know a life that didn’t include you. I had only scratched the surface of knowing you... We’d hardly spent any real time with each other but I just couldn’t imagine not waking up beside you in the morning. I couldn’t imagine a life that didn’t include waiting for you to cook breakfast for me, meeting me for lunch in between classes, going for walks together, having coffee, doing nothing together._

_I meant what I said that night._

_You are not alone._

_I love you so much, Even._

_-Isak”_

 

Even lets out a long and shaky breath and clutches the letter to his chest, right above where his heart is still hammering away. He didn’t realise he’d been holding his breath whilst reading the final part. He stays like that, letting Isak's words flow over him.

After a moment, Even turns the piece of paper over looking for the clue as to where the next letter is. At the bottom of the page in Isak’s messy scrawl.

_“The final one waits for you at home”_

Home.  
Their home. Their safe haven.

Even smiles and sighs happily to himself. He can’t wait to see Isak, to hug him, to kiss him, to shower him with love and affection.

He can’t wait to tell him just how much his present means to him. 

Sure, he knew Isak loved him but he’d never gone into this much depth or detail. Knowing how much Isak loves and cares about him is honestly rather overwhelming.

He feels the tears starting to burn behind his eyes and, blinking rapidly, his eyelashes fluttering quicker than a hummingbird’s wings, desperately tries to swallow them away. He doesn’t want to cry again until he’s he’s read the final letter and is with Isak. He just knows that the second the tears start falling that’s it, the floodgates will have opened and there’s no stopping them and he’d really like Isak to hold him through that.

Frantically clawing at his eyes, he tries to force any tears threatening to fall back into his tear ducts.

Not yet. Please. He begs his brain, begs it to keep his emotions in check until he gets home.

\- - - - - - - - - - 

Even turns the key in the lock and, shaking with anticipation, pushes open the door to their flat. He shuts the door quietly, and swiftly removes his jacket and shoes. The hallway and kitchen are in darkness as he moves towards a faint glow of the bedroom.  
Then he spots Isak, illuminated by the dancing lights of their Christmas tree, sitting on the edge of their bed and breathes out a sigh of happiness, of relief to finally be reunited. Especially after everything he’s read and learnt over the last few hours.

He can see Isak’s shoulders rising and falling faster than normal and that he’s turning something over in his hands, like poker players do with their chips. As he approaches, Isak springs up and they meet halfway in the middle of the floor. 

“Here” he says with flushed cheeks, thrusting the final letter over to Even, his hand trembling slightly. 

_Wow he’s nervous! Why is he so nervous?_ Even wonders as he takes the letter from Isak’s hand, letting his fingertips brush against Isak’s in what he hopes is a reassuring touch.

“Thanks” Even breathes as he opens it. 

The first thing he notices is just how and neat it is in comparison to the others. He’s seen the mess Isak makes when he’s scribbling down notes and thoughts into a notebook. He can’t help but chuckle slightly and let a fond smile flash briefly across his face as he realises that this is obviously the final draft; that Isak has had to have written and rewritten multiple times before copying out this one. His heart swells at the thought of how much thought and effort Isak’s obviously put into this, not just this letter but this entire gift. If it keeps on swelling like this there’ll be no room left in his chest.

He takes a deep breath, trying and failing to steady his emotions before starting.

_“Dear Even,_

_You’ve made it to the end of your present._

_I hope I’ve been able to convey just how great an effect you have had on my life._

_This flat is perhaps the place where you’ve impacted it the most.  
It’s not just a flat, it’s our home; our safe place that we’ve built together; a place where when things get tough in the outside world, we can always retreat to to seek comfort. _

_I love what we’ve built._

_I love being able to call you my boyfriend._

_I love that being with you means that I always have someone to do stuff with, which is something I haven’t had for years. For the longest time I thought it would be something I never got to have because friends have their own lives and get busy, and I drifted away from my parents after everything that happened...but meeting you changed all that._

_Meeting you and having someone firmly be a part of my life just because they love me means everything to me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to explain just how much it means but I’m doing my best._  
_I’m trying to be more open with my feelings but sometimes it hard because for so long I internalised everything._  
_I hope that eventually I’ll get to a place where it won’t be second nature to keep everything to myself._  
_I know I’ll get there if I have you by my side._

_I love that you are always there willing to do everything from last minute trips out of town, to lounging around all day in bed watching films, to just a simple trip to the supermarket._  
_I also love that whenever I go with the boys to a house party, there’s now someone there beside me that won’t ditch me when they meet someone hot._  
_It’s nice not having to leave and go home alone because you’re there. You’re beside me whether I’m sober which, yeah, basically never happens or when I’m slightly too drunk and you need to help me stumble home._

_It’s nice to no longer feel like I’m alone in the world.  
You’re my family._

_I hope this has been able to express even just a small percentage of how you make me feel._

_I love you so, so, so much, Even._

_Merry Christmas baby._

_-Isak”_

As Even reads, Isak stands in front of him and watches for a reaction; a clue as to what Even thinks of his gift, hoping to god that he likes it. He watches as Even reads it, fiddling nervously with his fingers and chewing on his bottom lip; his sock-clad feet shuffling against the floor the only sound in the room, apart from the occasional crinkle of paper as Even reads. Isak can see Even’s eyes moving towards the bottom of the page but Even’s face is still poker straight and his brain goes into overdrive.

 _God I’ve made a total embarrassment of myself_ he panics. 

He hates it. It’s the worst gift he’s ever got.

“I-” he begins. “I know it’s probably not the best gift you’ve ever received” he continues, letting out a shaky breath and rubbing the back of his neck with one of his hands. 

“I just wanted to do something special for you. Give you something tangible about our love - or, actually, my love for you that you could keep and look back on. I guess this is my version of the video you made me?” he tells Even - the _floor_ because trying to read Even’s face was getting to be too much - ending up as more of a question than a statement. 

Isak’s head snaps up from the floor as a new sound suddenly starts to fill the room; the sound of water hitting something, slow at first but the gap between sounds rapidly decreasing. “Even? What’s wrong?” he gasps, the nerves swelling inside of him. 

There are tears spilling from Even’s eyes and landing on the paper. It takes him a moment to register that the reason he can no longer see clearly is because he’s crying and hurries to move the letter out of the pathway of tears - the last thing he wants is to smudge Isak’s words; his love letter; his confession; the words that own Even’s soul. He folds it up as carefully as he can and sticks in his back pocket along with the rest.

“Is… Is this really how you feel about me?” he manages to choke out, his voice raw and full of emotion before hastily wiping at his eyes trying to clear his vision enough so that he can look at Isak. The floodgates no longer holding the water back. 

When he does, he feels like he’s seeing him again for the first time.

_How did I get so lucky?_ He questions, yet again. 

“I… Yeah... Or at least part of it” Isak replies hesitantly, chewing nervously on his lip in between attempts at speaking. He can feel the tears burning behind his eyes. “Because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express just how much you mean to me and how much you’ve impacted my life.” His voice wavering as he reaches the end of his sentence and a tear escapes. 

Even surges forward, both hands locking onto Isak’s face as he crushes their lips together. Isak stumbles back slightly and lets out a small whimper at the suddenness of the kiss and the feeling of how Even is pouring all his love and affection into it. As Even brushes his tongue across his bottom lip, Isak opens his mouth in reply; his tongue immediately moving to tangle with Even’s, moving his hands to grip firmly onto Even’s hips. The taste of salt from their mingled tears flavouring the kiss.

“I can’t believe that’s how you feel” Even mumbles, disbelievingly, against Isak’s lips and presses another - more chaste - kiss to Isak’s lips before moving back slightly to softly caress Isak’s nose with his own and rests their foreheads together; tears still falling steadily from both their eyes.

“You really liked it?” Isak whispers into the space between them.

“Baby” Even sighs in reply, rhythmically stroking Isak’s cheekbones with his thumbs. “I love it! Its….its _everything_.” He says reverently.

With that answer, Even can feel the tension seep out of Isak’s body. Even removes his hands from his face and instead wraps them round his shoulders, bringing them together for a hug which they both relax into. Isak loops his arms tightly around Even’s waist as he nuzzles his face into the space between Even’s neck and shoulder.

“I’m so glad” Isak mumbles, pressing a kiss to Even’s skin. “I was so worried you were going to be disappointed with it or think it was stupid. I’m not as creat-”.

“Isak” Even interrupts. “I meant what I said… I love it…I can’t even put into words how much I love it.” He lets out a soft content sigh. “Thank you… Thank you so much” he whispers in between pressing kisses to Isak’s temple. “Don’t tell my parents, but it’s probably the best present I’ve ever been given” he adds with a chuckle. 

“You really mean that?” Isak asks, voice filled with disbelief, lifting his head off Even’s shoulder to look him in the eyes, checking whether or not Even’s telling the truth. All he can see is an overwhelming amount of love and fondness; no hint of a lie being told which causes his breath to catch in his throat and fresh tears to fall.

“I really do” Even smiles fondly, kissing the tears off Isak’s cheek. 

“I love you” Isak exhales. “Merry Christmas Even.” a smile taking over his face.

“Merry Christmas Isak” Even replies, leaning in to capture Isak’s lips with his own once more.


End file.
